It is always the end of the world these days. Everyone is apoplectic. No one is apologetic. It used to be that the end of the world would come and go like the tide but it’s everywhere these days like…
Breakfast Apocalypse
Category: Hollywood Stories
Stories in and about Hollywood.
One Iron
Jimmy Killingsworth always told me I keep too many irons in the fire. He was the first person to give me a copy of Gravity’s Rainbow, the man who turned me on to Pynchon, so I was inclined to take…
Who Wants a Twenty-Pound Turkey?
On my first official day of work with the Agency, I went to the main office on Wilshire Boulevard and was told to report immediately to a separate location in West Hollywood. The Agency was expanding and setting up a…
Confessions of an Agency Goon
When I first came to Hollywood, a cauldron of unholy loves sang all around my ears. Which is to say, I was a production assistant at a talent agency that specialized in representing fashion models. This may sound like the…
The Last Pitch
Gabe Nachman called me in the middle of the afternoon. He wanted to come over right away. “I’ve got the pitch of the century,” he said. “Let me hear it,” I said. “Not over the phone,” he said. “Some fucker…
What Happened to Harry
It was more than just one thing that brought Harry down. It was in fact an entire series of events that led to the predicament that put poor Harry in this place. To begin with, he was out in Wyoming…
Old Fashioneds
Back in the Eighties sometimes we would spend long hours drinking cocktails and talking about the things people talk about when they spend long hours drinking cocktails. There was an old editor who lived in the village and enjoyed taking…
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
Three weeks into production, they let you know they need a rewrite. All the scenes in the last two weeks of filming need to be redone. The actress broke her nose and had to have surgery. “You can’t see the…
How to Eat a Banana
I’m a Hollywood monkey, so my favorite meetings are the ones with fruit. This is also why I like visiting the set: Craft Services usually has fruit, and there’s often a lot of it, because everyone else is eating donuts…
Day of the Goon
It’s a meeting. Two producers are already in the room, each of them with a manila folder of notes open on the conference table. The assistant holds the door for me. She closes the door behind me as I enter.…