One Iron

Jimmy Killingsworth always told me I keep too many irons in the fire. He was the first person to give me a copy of Gravity’s Rainbow, the man who turned me on to Pynchon, so I was inclined to take…

This Day

“You know what day it is?” “Tuesday?” “Thursday, actually. But no, the date.” “I don’t know the day of the week and you think I know the date?” “They’re not the same thing.” “I don’t know. It’s October, right?” “Right.”…

Confessions of an Agency Goon

When I first came to Hollywood, a cauldron of unholy loves sang all around my ears. Which is to say, I was a production assistant at a talent agency that specialized in representing fashion models. This may sound like the…

Napoleon’s Brandy

Napoleon was an angry little man. This is common knowledge. It is written: Napoleon was short and insecure. Psychology even names a type of inferiority complex after the little general. But like so many things in this darkling world, there…

Manhattan Rain

What the hell am I doing in New York? Every time I come to this city it’s raining. Seattle has the reputation for precipitation but it’s New York that really gets the rain. Gazing out the taxi window I can…

The Last Pitch

Gabe Nachman called me in the middle of the afternoon. He wanted to come over right away. “I’ve got the pitch of the century,” he said. “Let me hear it,” I said. “Not over the phone,” he said. “Some fucker…

What Happened to Harry

It was more than just one thing that brought Harry down. It was in fact an entire series of events that led to the predicament that put poor Harry in this place. To begin with, he was out in Wyoming…

Enter the Germans

It’s true that I live the kind of life where a simple trip to buy office supplies turns into a weeklong debacle that includes kidnapping, international espionage, a drunken brawl, some minor facial surgery, hostages, and a trip to Bermuda.…

Real Estate Horror

Owning property has its risks. The torture of escrow is not always the end of the horror. Plumbing and electrical problems can drive a home owner to bankruptcy. Structural issues can make an erstwhile home into a house of death.…

The Legwork Begins

It was not wrong of Jenifer Ridley Gale to ask me to find Elias Croehe. Aside from the personal debt of history, prior to my retirement finding lost people and lost things was my forté. Most of my life I…

The Missing Chapter

There is the question of why I withdrew from society for so many years. It is a question I am hesitant to answer, mostly due to my natural reluctance to admit weakness in this predatory world. But the facts and…

The Investigation of the Missing

This is the last place anyone saw Elias Croehe. He was drinking a tropical milkshake and staring out at the ocean. After he disappeared, they looked for him everywhere. On the beach, around the neighborhood. His friends went back to…

Lebowski’s Journey

Written and directed by Joel and Ethan Coen, The Big Lebowski is most notably a delightful sendup of film noir tropes, a particular twist on the “man who knew too much.” Drawn into a series of strange events due to…